Jing, King of bandits vs
by Ryushi Nigami
Summary: Watch Jing, the King of Bandits, as he stumbles through the anime universe trying to get back home (warning: hillarious comedy may ensue) (first fanfic, so please RR) Now updated!
1. How it all began

Author: jingkingofbandits Disclaimer: I do not own Jing, Kir or any of the anime characters in this chapter (gawd dammit) and if you might be thinking of taking my idea, don't, for if you do, I will send out multiple ninja monkeys to steal your computer, then what're you going to do, eh?  
  
Author- hey y'all, howzit hangin? Some random person: don't even try, man. Author- oh well. Anyways, enjoy the first chapter of my first uploaded fanfiction series (and first fanfiction)  
  
King of Bandits vs. Prologue  
  
Jing, the King of Bandits is, at this moment, surrounded by an innumerable amount of redead mummies that awoke after he stole the fabled Reload Matrix, which is said to be able to allow the user to travel through time, from the tomb of Father Time's father, the king of time. Anyways, having slashed and Kir-Royaled through countless mummies, Jing and Kir are now backed into a corner with no way out.  
  
Kir: Uhhh, Jing, I think now would be good time to use that watchamacallit.  
  
Jing: Actually, I think now would be a good time to...  
  
Kir: If you're thinking of doing another Kir Royale, forget it. My throat's already burned out.  
  
Jing narrowly dodges one of the mummies and slices it in half with his sword.  
  
Jing: You're not letting me finish. As you can see, we're surrounded by redead mummies and it looks like we have no chance of escape.  
  
Kir: Well, thank you for that stunning observation, General Knowledge.  
  
Jing: You're welcome, Kir. Anyhow, there is still a chance for us to get out of here.  
  
Kir: If there is, I think you should hurry up and find it before we become crypt keepers like those guys there. And if I looked like that, how the hell could I attract any ladies, eh?  
  
Jing: So all we gotta do is...(whispers his plan in Kir's ear).  
  
Kir: THAT'S YOUR MASTER PLAN!?!?!?!?!? (well, what do you know, it's so crazy it just might work).  
  
And with that, Jing puts his plan into action. First, Kir flies up and locates the exit.  
  
Kir (Yelling): Hey Jing, apparently we got very close to exit, because it's straight ahead about 200 meters.  
  
Jing: That close? Wow! It makes what I'm about to do a whole lot easier!  
  
Then, after the next mummy attacks him, he jumps on it's back and begins to run across the sea of disgusting, still slightly wrapped, heads, effectively confusing them. When he finally makes it out of the tomb, he quickly straps Kir onto his arm and fires a Kir Royale at the entrance, sealing King Time's tomb forever. His work finally done for the day, he heaves a heavy sigh and slides to the ground with his back against the wall.  
  
Jing: Well, that was close.  
  
Kir: I still don't understand why you didn't use the reload matrix back there.  
  
Jing (having pulled out the reload matrix): For one, I would have to solve it first. Take a look.  
  
Jing tosses the reload matrix over to Kir, who looks it over very carefully.  
  
Kir: Hey Jing, this looks exactly like a Rubik's Cube. Who knows, maybe the King of Time liked puzzles.  
  
Jing: Maybe. Anyways, you keep it. Maybe you'll solve it.  
  
And so they wander into town to pick up some more supplies before heading off on their never ending journey again. All the while Kir is messing around with reload matrix, trying to solve it.  
  
Kir [mumbling as he turns it around and around]: Ok, so if I turn this part this way and this one this way, then it'll look like this, and.... Hey Jing, could you do this for me, please?  
  
Jing: Sure thing, Kir.  
  
Jing takes it from Kir and begins to fiddle with it. After a few minutes, he gives it back to Kir.  
  
Kir: Couldn't figure it out either, ay Jing?  
  
Jing: Actually, I solved it.  
  
Kir [to himself]: Oooooooo, a button [presses it]  
  
All of a sudden, the cube begins to spin and float in the air.  
  
Kir: Uh oh  
  
Jing: What? What's going on? [turns around] Uh oh. Kir, what'd you do this time.  
  
Kir: All I did was press a button.  
  
Jing: Now you've done...  
  
And that was all he could get out before they were both sucked into the whirling vortex of a rip in time and space, sent to travel the many dimensions of the anime universe  
************* This is an after-note from the author...  
  
Author: and that's the first chapter done [bows to audience] [looks up] [sees no reviewers] Author: WHAT!!!!! All that trouble to write this chapter and no reviews!!! [sits down] Well, I am not going to write the next chapter until I get some reviews {and the same goes for all the other chapters just waiting to be written} Bah Humbug! 


	2. Jing vs Kenshin pt 1

**_Jing, King of bandits vs._**

_Author: jingkingofbandits  
_

Disclaimer: I do not own Jing, Kir or any of the anime characters in this chapter (only in my dreams). But feel free to do a spinoff of this fic as it's just for fun and has absolutely no moneymaking possibilities whatsoever. BTW, RR or no third chapter. BTW, Kaoru is slightly out of character, Sano is off training, and Yahiko is also out training. I really dislike putting too many characters in my fics (Amy: You're just lazy. Me: AM NOT!!)

Me: {which anime should I put Jing in first? So many choices}

The club(Amy): Kenshin!!!

Me: {Ack!} where did you guys come from?!?!?!

The club(Amy): We are your muses, now get to work before we pound you with the inspiration hammer.

Me: [sigh] this is going to be a long chapter.

**_Chapter 2: Kenshin, the Rurouni formerly know as Battosai_**

****

Floating in the inter-anime portal, our heroes try to make the best of things  
  
Kir: got any threes?  
  
Jing: Nope, go fish. [Kir picks up a card] Got any kings?  
  
Kir: Dang {how'd he know?} [gives Jing his kings]  
  
Jing: [lays out cards] I win.  
  
Kir: That's the tenth game in a row. How 'bout some speed?  
  
Jing: Fine by me  
  
And so they float, always playing one card game or another. Jing deals out the cards for one last game of speed, Kir picks up his five cards, and the game begins.  
  
(two minutes later)  
  
Kir: Nooooooooo.  
  
Jing: It can't be that bad, Kir. You only lost by 10 cards.  
  
Kir: It's not that, it's just that you're so damn fast.  
  
Jing: I'm a thief, it's only natural that I have to be fast.  
  
Kir: Well, then let's see how good you do in..[cuts off due to suddenly disappearing]  
  
And about that time they fell through another rip that they caused (somehow) into the world of Ruoruni Kenshin.  
  
A/N: Why? There's just no reason for me to have writer's block. Why can I not think of what it is that I am going to write next? My mind is bla. oh wait, there it is.  
  
Meanwhile.Kenshin is just returning from buying groceries.  
  
Kenshin: Let's see. soy sauce, miso, vegetables, meat {does she have to buy them all at the same time?}. I think that's all, de gozaru.  
  
Sensing a disturbance in the air, Kenshin steps slightly to the left, and is barely missed by the landing of Jing and Kir.  
  
Jing: Well, that was fun. Wonder where we are. [pats pockets] {Uh oh} Hey Kir, do you have the Reload matrix?  
  
Kir: {Look at the pretty birdies} [shakes head to clear it (A/N: like an Etch-A-Sketch)] what was that, Jing? No, I don't have that time cube thingy, I thought you had it.  
  
Jing: looks like we're stuck here for the moment {wherever "here" is} [looks around, finally noticing the swirly-eyed Kenshin sitting there] Hey!  
  
Kenshin: Wha.? [snaps out of it at that point] Yes, de gozaru?  
  
Jing: I am terribly sorry about dropping in on you like that, but would you be so kind as to tell us where we are? We seem to be lost.  
  
Kenshin: [studies them for a moment] You are standing at the gate of the dojo in which I live for the moment.  
  
Jing: I see. And where is this dojo located?  
  
Kenshin: [confused look] Right here.  
  
Jing: Actually, I meant which country.  
  
Kir: [whispering] Are you sure about this?  
  
Jing: [whispering back] I am positive that we can trust him.  
  
Kir: [whispering] Okay, boss guy.  
  
Kenshin: This dojo is near Tokyo, in the country of Japan, during the Meiji Era  
  
Jing: I see. So we came that far, huh. [stomach grumbles] Umm, you wouldn't happen to have food by any chance would you? We're sorta hungry.  
  
Kenshin: We have plenty of food, de gozaru. Please, come in. [all enter the dojo] Kaoru-dono, this one has returned from the market with the supplies and met a few hungry travelers on the way back.  
  
Kir: Hey, Jing, don't you think that it's a little suspicious that he refers to himself as "this one"?  
  
Jing; Not to worry, Kir. Usually, those with the strangest habits also happen to have the rarest items [glances at Kenshin's sakabato]. Like that sword....  
  
Kaoru: Kenshin!!! You're back!! Did you get the miso? [glances at Jing and Kir] who're your friends?

**_More author notes:  
_**  
I would like to thank all my reviewers out there.  
  
Ripley-Blade-Rowan- Thanks man, I will keep writing and hopefully get this finished. Say hi to your sis for me. (BTW: I will get to those stories ASAP)  
  
Alynxia- Why thank you (). Yes they do work good together, they're partners aren't they [laugh]. Anyhow, seeing as I have no idea what double meaning you are referring to, no I did not mean it. (BTW: Amy says hi to Bob (Amy: Hey there, hunky [smooch]) and keep writing. I really want to find out what happens to Tyernon)  
  
Dark-Magician-41- Love the two person review. Very funny (Amy: Yup, funny funny. Me: did you drink coffee, Amy? Amy: Yup!!! Me: Oh man, this is bad.). Anyways, I did read your story. Pure and total comedy.  
  
Dragonheart2- Must...have....Kenshin-battosai. Forgive my typo, it was supposed to be Yamashira. But I must apologize, as my writing style will change from time to time (sorry).  
  
Anyways, stay tuned for more Jing and tell your friends. (Amy: Bye!!!)


	3. Pay no heed to this chapter, as it is no...

Jing vs.

This is the chapter for those of you who have already read and reviewed chapter three when I had it up. Thank you for your time and please RR if you didn't already RR the last two chapters.


	4. jing vs Kenshin Part 2

_**Jing, King of bandits vs.**_

_**Ryushi Nigami**_

_**Yes, it has been a long time. I haven't been working on this and I'm no good at battle scenes, so this might be a short chapter.**_

_**Jing vs. the former Hitokiri part 2**_

Kaoru sets the food on the table as Kenshin and Jing relax around it. Kir...has other plans. "You guys eat and whatnot, I'm gonna go find me some women." With that remark, Kir flies off towards town.

"He he," jingchuckles, "Good ole Kir. Ever the amorous type."

"Indeed, de gozaru yo." Kenshin replies, "Sessha haas not seen one so bent on finding women since...actually Sessha has never seen one so bent on finding women, de gozaru yo."

Jing lets out a laugh. "Ain't that the truth. Anyways, what do we have for dinner today?"

"I wouldn't be eating any of Jo-chan's food if I were you, stranger."

Jing looks up and sees a young man in white clothes with a red bandana. Kenshin smiles and waves him over. "Hello, Sano. How's training so far, de gozaru yo?"

Sano sits down with a sigh. "Not good. There aren't enough trees for me to practice on here."

Kenshin nods. "I can see how that would be a problem, de gozaru yo."

Sano leans over and glances at Jing before whispering in Kenshin's ear. "Who's the stranger? He doesn't seem to be from around here, or anywhere in Japan."

Kenshin whispers back, "I don't know. Him and his bird appeared out of nowhere in front of the dojo, de gozaru yo. They seem trustworthy, though."

Sano looks backover at Jing, who appears to have gotten an earful and a large knot on his head from his comments on Kaoru's cooking. "I still don't like him."

"Is there somethingI should know?" Jingwhispers from right between them.

Surprised, Sano jumps to the side and into his fighting stance. "I don't know who you are, but you'll face me before Kenshin."

Sighing, Jing quietly pilfers Kenshin's sword as he turns. "If you want to fight, shall we take it outside?"

Grinning from ear to ear, Sano leads the way to the door, with Jing following close behind. Once outside, Jing just stands there, admiring the flowers. "Hey! Take up a stance, why don't ya? I 'm ready to fight already!"

Picking a flower and sniffing it's fragrance, Jing replies without looking up, "If you want to attack, go ahead and attack. i'm not stopping you."

Taking jing's words to heart, Sano makes the first move and lunges at Jing, who seems to disappear. skidding to a stop, Sanosearches the gardenbefore finally spotting him sitting in a tree, still smelling the flower. "when did you get over there?' He asks, bewildered.

Hopping down, Jing twirls the flower in his fingers for a second as he considers answering that. "tell you what. Beat me, and I'll tell you exactly how I got over here."

Cracking his knuckles, Sano readies himself again. "Sounds good to me. Let's rumble!" Lunging at Jing again, he throws a punch, which Jing easily dodges by ducking. quickly changing tactics, Sano tries to kick jign but is again foiled, by Jing (yet again) disappearing. "Stop doing that!"

"Why?" instantly recognizing the position of the voice to be justbehind him, Sano lashes out with a kick that is not only dodged, but grabbed. "Your technique is good, but your opponent is wrong." Twisting his hand, Jing flips sano onto his back. Still holding the flower, he waits as Sano gets up off the ground wearily. "Are you finished, then?I guess it's my turn." Tossing the flower in the air, he dashes to sano and immediately unloads a series of punches and kicks that quickly knocks him out. catching the flower, he turns it slowly in his hands before finally setting it on Sano's chest. "Just so you remember me."

Walking off, he jumps over the wall of the dojo just as kenshin walks out. "Sanosuke, you forgot your..." looking up, he stops as he sees Sano lying on the ground unconscious. "SANO!"

_**End chapter.**_

**_I am evil, aren't I? I'm sorry i had to leave the cliffhanger, but I was losing inspiration._**

**_Ja ne!  
Ryushi Nigami_**


End file.
